Warho fo sho?

"So you think it's alright to call a black woman a ho?"

Oh boy. My first day hocking shirts in Union Square, and vast swaths of people come and go, even in my quiet nook on the southeast corner. You can tell when someone "gets" Warho. There's the initial observation, the moment of pondering the various elements and double entendres, followed by a flash of crystallization, and a look that blends shock, amusement, and dumbfounderment (according to Dictionary.com, that's the grammatical correct word). People grab their friend, come back over to see if what they just saw is in fact a mashup of Andy Warhol's Marilyn Monroe and a hard-lined diss of Condi Rice. And hopefully I sell a shirt or give a flyer for them to tack on the refrigerator.

I've heavily considered the sensitivity of such a word to certain demographics. Firstly, to women, but namely, black women. In the wake of the Imus controversy a few months back, skullfuck seems a modest term in comparison. On a side note, is there any other 2 letter combination in any language that packs such a whallop? Most of the truly satisfying expletives require at least 4.

As these things happen, the individual most expressive of being offended was not a woman. Granted, he was black, and rather peeved. I could tell it was coming, eyes glaring as he stepped onto the curb and nearer my table. When greeted with the same words that preface this post and a hostile, accusatory tone, I gave it even odds that things might escalate. Fortunately not, though I was labeled as an imperialist [sic] "white man" who can do anything he pleases. The closest I like to get to imperialism is cheering on English football and having the liberal gin & tonic or four. He did make some good points, particularly on the broad notion that racism is endemic and systematically ingrained into our society. But he became increasingly hyperbolic in his accusations, labeling anyone who buys (RED) products from The Gap as racist, and not caring about Africa. He also gave me a T-shirt design, "Peaceful Racist," because that's what many of us are by virtue of our daily lifestyles and choices. I suppose.

When offered the choices at the local mega mall, between Hollister, Polo, Wet Slut (I mean Seal, faux pas), Levi's and a Gap product that at least gives some money to African industry (cotton + manufacturing) and their perpetually crippled economies, I'll choose the latter. In all other circumstances, I'd be equally cynical to Gap T-shirts saving Africa, but at least it does something, and gets people to realize, albeit on so ever miniscule a level, that things are BAD over there. Blame the blanditudes of our corporate fashion monocultures, but don't transfer all the blame onto the indivuals. Stoke that anger and peg it on the system, maaaaan. Because most people won't think beyond the choices laid out in front of them.

At the very least, this little encounter helped me to consider and articulate a line of responses to any subsequent individuals who are incensed by le Warho.

1) Do you get the design, the spoof, the elements at work? Yes? Good, let's proceed.

2) If you observe the colors used, note how Condi is depicted. She is every color of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, 3 shades of green, blue (sorry indigo) and violet. Further, she is showcased in the center as the American icon that she is, in red, WHITE, and blue. I could be wrong, but is Condi regarded as a prominent figure and pillar within the African-American community? How dedicated is she to her people, with her constant affections for W? Just watch 2 minutes of Lil' Bush to see what I'm talking about.

3) Finally, if you'd like to prioritize the racial implications of the word "ho" over the broader context and message, I won't deny anyone that right. But if you quantify whore/ho as someone who turns tricks for profit, in a culture regarded by many as lewd and shameless, then let's apply that definition to Iraq and our administration. Condi and every last individual who deceived the American people, profited off the war, and whored out our self-respect as a country, is a warho, a war criminal, a war rapist. So I'm not singling Condi out, but hasn't she escaped a good deal of criminal for the very reason that she is a woman... and perhaps, black? Plus, has the lady ever looked better? Honey, I think I gave her a great makeover, and that coifed hair just evokes Marilyn.

As a final qualifier, I call upon Dave Chappelle's epic Racial Draft '04, to finally put an end to individuals of multiple cultural associations. The white delegation made a surprise move, drafting Colin Powell. Nevertheless, Rondell and the black delegation consented, ONLY on the condition that they also accept Miss Condoleeza Rice. Done and done. You've got yourself a goddamn deal.